Why when a girl ask a man they are seeing to do something, they see it as nagging.
(Doesn't matter if its the first time it was brought up.)
I will post this and will let it take off on its own and see if you men know the answers to it.
Personally I think its because they know the word nag pisses us off, and they want out of doing it. Am I wrong?
Personaly you think we say it knowing it pisses you off. but then we say you're nagging because that pisses us off. so to answer the question. yes, you are wrong.
ReplyDeleteI have a good one, yet I still hear this. Heard it yesterday. (Just wondering why men say that.)
ReplyDeleteHe is off eight days with pay, and I asked him to cut a leaning tree so it don't fall over why the kids or someone is out around it. He told me not to start, and to stop nagging. (He did cut the tree, after that.)
I know lazy men and men who are not lazy and that is what it comes down to. If you are lucky enough to find a great guy you wont have to deal with this problem.
ReplyDeleteBut good luck they are few and far between.The ones I know are already married to very lucky weman.
women like to give "why dont you..." speaches. Men prefer to give "I dont like it when you..." speaches.
ReplyDeleteLike Montreal Guy said.....there's ways to go about motivating the man. My girlfriend
ReplyDeleteknows it. We've been pampered our entire lives by our parents....never did dishes, laundry,
or cooked (our sisters have though)....now we have to figure out how to clean up,
wash....shit, I'm lucky I get to work with the same colour socks.
Think of us as handicapped - be gentle with us!!
It depends on how it's phrased.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, with some women, it's a subtle way to "get to" a guy.
Most times, phrased the right way, it should not be a problem.
Normaly I start out saying honey when you get time we need to do this, for this reason.
ReplyDeleteLately he has gotten into the habit of telling me not to nag, and that triggers me wondering why he is calling me a nag. So he started it.
He cut the tree down, and I piled up the limbs into a brush pile. He was telling me it was to hot for me to be out there doing it, and to go into the house where it is cool.
So I don't think its the way I said it. When I ask him to do something I am there to help if he needs it. (I went in, until he laid down to take a nap, then I put the limbs on the brush pile.)
Now cutting my toe nails tonight he was fine with, and didn't have a proublem doing that. He calls me a nag when I don't expect it, and it throws me off gard.
Look my ex used to play a game with me, and I'll just share it with you - as an example of what I meant by "some women".
ReplyDeleteI'd come home first, and start to clean up a bit. I'd sweep up, do any dishes...that type of thing.
When she got home, the complaints would start about how I did something wrong.
About an hour later, there would be twenty cups and glasses in the sink. ( I'd use one and rinse it.)
After a few months, I gave up.
Had she supported it, and said nothing "negative" , all would have went well. If the house is swept up, and one corner is missed - it's still better than it was.
sammy i am sure glad you had to tell your husband to pick up his tools. men need that alot since when the very moment we finish with them we go brain dead. lol
ReplyDeletehave to admit it was funny...lol
If the house is swept up, and one corner is missed - it's still better than it was.
ReplyDeleteSo when you went to do something it was never good enough? O.k. I can see how that might be nagging. If she didn't want to help you with it.
My husband was taking the floor off of a old trailer. I had tore the whole old trailer down to the floor last year, and asked him to do the floor. Today he was out side grinding down the screw heads off so he could pull it apart. He took off three peices of ply wood that way, and leaving the rest for later. I was tempted to ask him why he didn't use the jig saw so it would go faster. But I didn't because I was just glad he was just getting around to doing it. I would of done it, but I am afraid of snakes, and afraid there would be some in there. He isn't afraid of snakes. I did tell him if he was done for today to pick up the grinder and the cord, so the dogs wont chew threw them. Should of seen the look I got for that. I was making a statement before they got ahold of it. Not nagging.(Our dogs chew everything up, if its left out.) I normaly pick things up behind him, and he hates when I do that, so this time I didn't.
If I don't they end up all over the yard, (Or rusted after laying around a long time.) and he gets mad when the dogs carry them off someplace else. If I do something there is a reason behind it. He needs a tool he asks me to hunt it up for him.
ReplyDeletePicking them up helps me know where they are. I went on strike once, and he didn't have any tools for a year. He left them diffent places.
sammy i am surprised he finds his way home. ( i am kidding of course)
ReplyDeleteI"m a woman and I hate being nagged! My mother is very naggy while my Dad never was a nag. Why? Dad and I did the housework together as a team.
ReplyDeleteMom just pestered me to do it and had tantrums if I did something wrong. Doing housework as a team gets the housework done faster and quiets some of the "nagging" I think. Guys what do you think?
Personaly I think its because they know the word nag pisses us off, and they want out of doing it. Am I wrong?
ReplyDeleteYep!
Many men, being men living in a partriarchal mens' world, don't see women as authority figures. There's only ONE woman in a man's life that ever gets to be one, however grudgingly, and I think you can guess which one that might be? So in general a man is only tolerant of "orders" from other men (and perhaps not even then), and getting one from a woman just reminds him of having to tolerate it from his mother... so he sees it as "nagging".
Yeah, I know... I'm fishin', but really I'm pretty talented for an armchair socioanthropologist.
Macraig makes sense. I want to add too that I'm happiest when I'm single and have
ReplyDeletemy own space. I wake up when I want to and do what I want.
When I was living with a
previous girlfriend I was 'nagged' and started regretting the "lets-move-in-together" idea.
When that relationship ended and she moved out, as sad as it was, I was glad to have
my place back in my full control.
Now I have a maid service that comes and and
cleans after me.....she's like an ideal girlfriend - JUST KIDDING!
Many men, being men living in a partriarchal mens' world
ReplyDeletePATRIARCHAL, dagnabit! Clearly I should go to bed but it's too hot and the cooling system is shot....
I was about to make this very same thread earlier...My husband thinks everything is nagging. If he goes out after work to have a beer and comes in like 2 hours late....
ReplyDeleteI'm like well you could've called and he says I'm nagging. Guys why can't you just call and let us know where you are. I mean really it takes 2 seconds. My husband uses the word nagging everyday coz i hate it so much. I think i'm just asking a question and he says it's nagging. Sorry but i'm not going to tiptoe around a question just so u don't feel nagged..i mean be a man and answer don't pull out the nagging card.
P.S not aimed at all guys.mainly just my husband
Did you not read my first post in this thread? It pretty much explains it, though solving it for you is another matter.
ReplyDeleteWell i for one dont find everything nagging. If someone expects me to do more than my fair share then your nagging but if u TELL me to do summin instead of askin you will be told where to go. If you have to ask me a second time then i have genuinely forgot and just ASK again instead of getting all irate and naggin!!
ReplyDeleteWhen you ask its a request not a nag for me so i dont feel like im nagged all the time.
My tips would be:
ReplyDelete1. Don't make it the first/second thing that comes out of your mouth when you see him
2. Be careful how you word it
3. Try to throw in a compliment while your at it so that it doesn't feel as though your just barking orders
4. If it's to do with a guy thing/or his domain (eg the car or the tool shed) then he might be feeling a bit belittled being told what to do by a female.
5. If he's done it correctly before don't remind him unless asked
6. Try to space out your requests/complaints (see point 3)
7. Watch your tone of voice.
8. If he feels like your doing nothing but nagging him it won't hurt to appologise for "coming accross that way".
My husband walked in and read this, and liked the fact I was being told how not to nag. It made him smile, and I asked him if I did some of them things would it help. Then he laughed and hugged me with a kiss and said no, you can't help but be a nag, all girls are nags, its in your dna.
ReplyDeleteThen he went out to move the logs out of the way to get his truck where I can pick up that load of rocks I dug out around where were putting the basketball goal.
I need to get off here and get dressed so I can pick them up before he does it for me. Its sopost to be hot today, and we do things before it get hot.
^^^^I'm just glad she married him and not me. Poor guy's gonna break his back
ReplyDeletebecause of the foreman he's got hanging around.
If a guy percieves it as nagging the first time it's brought up it has got to be in how it's brought up, check yourself on how you ask.
ReplyDeleteYou're nagging now. Just like a woman!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete